I have revisited Jan Neel's post on Sometimes I Wish having in mind Linda Lee's challenge to me.
Neverland 29 July 2012 Vision Board
It took me a few days of reflection and loads of email advices how come some priorities have been pretty messed up. What was it that I really wanted out of this? What is it that I truly want in my life right now? I was made aware of the reality that no fairy dusts would lift any of my dreams up...
I recalled writing one of my friends a message, there is only one sign that is needed... and I included it in my VB...
4 August 2012 Vision Board
Here comes the challenge ~ how do I achieve this ~ when I haven't included the source of funding for my needs?
Somehow the Neverland part still surfaces...
When I was younger, I dreamt that I could give my full services freely the way I saw some people did it ~ some relied on charity and donations to sustain them and some were, luckily, born rich.
When I graduated in College, I sought experience in government hospitals and offered my services. Two said yes (and I am forever grateful). I was able to go to different countries through generous sponsors. My experiences were enriched by the people I met.
And then I decided to leave the Garden of Eden and face life.
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... I was back to zero but I thank God that nobody ever made me feel like a loser...
As I took in Linda's challenge, my attitude towards 'earning' money has changed. We're so fond of 'gratis' and 'pro bono' but I realized that if I would like to have a home for the children, I need to invest on a lot and facilities to go with it. If I wish to adopt (a) child(ren), the Department of Social Welfare and Development will assess my financial status and make sure I'm capable of raising (a) child(ren). And here's the best part, if I wish to visit India or do a pilgrimage to the Holy Land with my mother, I have to pay for my ticket .
While sharing this with my mom, she asked me, would there be any difference in the way I served if I knew it'll be compensated? Would I be more effective? zealous? willing?
Why have I turned down an offer to work at a nursing home two years ago? Would I ever die for a high paid job?
Then she reminded me of the most critical part ~ deadlines.
For several weeks, I've tried to engage in business classes and I found myself withdrawing ~ hmmm, this one's not for me...nor this one...
Another realization that hit me during these two weeks was... my friends thought I didn't need the money... I am single and have nobody to care for... I don't earn from blogging, catechizing, making art and music...but God surprised me last Friday. For the very first time, I understood what hard earned money meant for the poor. I worked and got paid for it.
P.S.
To my dear friend, I know you've waited for a whole month for this post ~ the answers you have to find for yourself...but know that I'll keep working on mine through God's grace.
Linda Lee, thank you very much!
----
Have I confused you dear friend?
I have reached an age when my ideals met with reality. We all need money that's for sure.
Neverland 29 July 2012 Vision Board
 |
| I lifted some photos from google The children from May Christine Tandoc The bride and groom from Jim Brandano |
It took me a few days of reflection and loads of email advices how come some priorities have been pretty messed up. What was it that I really wanted out of this? What is it that I truly want in my life right now? I was made aware of the reality that no fairy dusts would lift any of my dreams up...
I recalled writing one of my friends a message, there is only one sign that is needed... and I included it in my VB...
4 August 2012 Vision Board
 |
| I lifted some photos from google The painting of Home for Children was done by my dad The drawings on the left by me (adapted from different sources) The cross, piano and pastel were my shots |
As if perfected in such a fashion ~ it has allowed me to view my dreams in a better perspective...
Here comes the challenge ~ how do I achieve this ~ when I haven't included the source of funding for my needs?
Somehow the Neverland part still surfaces...
When I was younger, I dreamt that I could give my full services freely the way I saw some people did it ~ some relied on charity and donations to sustain them and some were, luckily, born rich.
When I graduated in College, I sought experience in government hospitals and offered my services. Two said yes (and I am forever grateful). I was able to go to different countries through generous sponsors. My experiences were enriched by the people I met.
And then I decided to leave the Garden of Eden and face life.
For two years without work, my parents allowed me to pay off for what I ate by taking care of my nieces (I am able to use some techniques with the children in our Catechism every Saturdays). I enrolled in a Caregiving Class instead of taking up a Masteral in Nursing (Nursing enrolment has declined). I exchanged my words for company and friendship. I devoted time to art, artgroups and forums and an online gallery with Fher (My talent was later noticed by BS Corinne Rodrigues who introduced me to Roy Durham and he asked me to illustrate for his Christmas book in 2011). I devoured books and edified my soul through retreats...(I am able to share them now through my blog)...
I spent time with my guitar and keyboards...
(I met Sulekha Rawat and I began to put music in her poetry)
... I was back to zero but I thank God that nobody ever made me feel like a loser...
I took in a job afterwards that has less stress... less pay but it's enough to cover for my daily expenses...
I was talking with one of my colleagues and I confided that I lay my dreams bare before God
~ I'm not after 'stability' at this moment but I wish to discover what He has in store for me ~
As I took in Linda's challenge, my attitude towards 'earning' money has changed. We're so fond of 'gratis' and 'pro bono' but I realized that if I would like to have a home for the children, I need to invest on a lot and facilities to go with it. If I wish to adopt (a) child(ren), the Department of Social Welfare and Development will assess my financial status and make sure I'm capable of raising (a) child(ren). And here's the best part, if I wish to visit India or do a pilgrimage to the Holy Land with my mother, I have to pay for my ticket .
While sharing this with my mom, she asked me, would there be any difference in the way I served if I knew it'll be compensated? Would I be more effective? zealous? willing?
Why have I turned down an offer to work at a nursing home two years ago? Would I ever die for a high paid job?
Then she reminded me of the most critical part ~ deadlines.
For several weeks, I've tried to engage in business classes and I found myself withdrawing ~ hmmm, this one's not for me...nor this one...
Another realization that hit me during these two weeks was... my friends thought I didn't need the money... I am single and have nobody to care for... I don't earn from blogging, catechizing, making art and music...but God surprised me last Friday. For the very first time, I understood what hard earned money meant for the poor. I worked and got paid for it.
'Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents...
"They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of poverty, put in everything
-all she had to live on."'
~ Mk. 12: 41-42, 44 NIV ~
The depth of the Scriptures I have come to live by took on an authentic meaning...
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear...
your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well."
~ Mt. 6:25, 32-33 NIV ~
P.S.
To my dear friend, I know you've waited for a whole month for this post ~ the answers you have to find for yourself...but know that I'll keep working on mine through God's grace.
Linda Lee, thank you very much!
----
Updates:
Have I confused you dear friend?
I have reached an age when my ideals met with reality. We all need money that's for sure.
I work in a medical journal now, not in the hospital. I have chosen a career that allows me to be more creative...even with less pay...
Linda's challenge has opened my eyes to the purpose of money, why we work and get paid for our services... It has allowed me to see the 'blocks' inside me that tells me that 'everything' should be gratis...
I've started 'saving' money for my dreams :)