I'm beginning to love October...
It is the month of healing and recuperation for me.
First, when Sam left...
second, when my sister decided to experiment further with her future
and lastly, when a very close friend died in a tragic way.
Something inside me craved for silence... not the one we know of ~ mute... cut off from contacts...
but the kind that is filled with the presence of the 'Other'.
This time around 'we' meditated on 'protect'...
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A particular memory of the 'street kids' we used to assist came to my mind.
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| image adapted from a news photo in Tempo We took them out of the streets and provided them shelter, food and clothing... It was good for a time until we noticed a change in their behavior. They refused to 'visit' their own families ~ the ones they left behind... I wished they wouldn't have to go back to their former way of life... I knew we adopted the kids in order to protect them but, perhaps, the message wasn't that clear, to us nor to them. They NEED to recognize their roots ~ and that they could do if they knew why they have to go back to their families... I saw the same thing happening between my nieces and I when they started going to school... well, when they started growing up actually. I wish I wasalways there to protect them the way I did when they were younger... I watched 'The Miracle Worker' with Belle last weekend... and my eyes were opened... When people 'leave' either by separation or death, an unexplicable sorrow fills our heart. It is as if 'something' inside us has died with them. I remember asking God, "Was I not enough?" I think what is not enough is that we protect people. We must teach them skills to live... to struggle... and to fly... {without breaking their spirit} I finally, finally understood what my SD wrote about 'developing backbones'. There's a time to reach out and carry people 'across', to hold their hands and lead them the way... but there's also a time to sit back and allow them to walk alone in the dark, question life and find answers for themselves. We could only live our own lives... not of others... It is not my intention to leave noble thoughts in the minds of the people who reflect with me. I am struggling to put these reflections into practice... Live... in faith, in charity and in deep joy. ---- " Nothing will frighten me... If thick clouds hide the Sun and if it seems that nothing exists beyond the night of this life - well, then, that will be a moment of perfect joy, a moment to feel complete trust and stay very still, secure in the knowledge that my adorable Sun still shines behind the clouds." ~ St. Therese of Lisieux~ |