Ninety days was gradually reduced to seventy-five ... to sixty ... thirty and now I have less than a few hours to face my fears...
Three months seemed like a long time... and the agony of waiting will be over soon. My anxieties found their escape in dreams.
I asked a friend to interpret several dreams that I had after I had my check up in January. As the days flew by, the dreams began to unfold one by one...
The test.
I found myself at the second crossroad. I was challenged to re-think my decision of being single because of my condition. These three full months [January to March] I saw how the Lord has opened all the doors for me ~ He IS a very generous God. And He gives us freedom to choose where we would like to go.
The dinosaur was the cyst I allowed to grow within me. The anger that blocked me from seeing my future in a different way ~ it symbolized the people and the different voices that tell me "I could have..." ~ the blames, the hurts, the pains.
![]()
![]()
The dwarf is my creative potentials. My ARTnerhelped unleashed that side of me through an art group. The creative energies need to be re-directed in a more useful way ~ I let go of the blocks...
The white tiger presented itself in many ways. In my dream, I was with children playing jumping with them. I never felt such freedom and joy! The tiger came along and even if it were not chasing me, I was afraid. The white tiger was my friend who came to visit me in January, it was the doctor and my colleagues who felt I needed to do something to "prevent" my cysts from growing.
I have ran away for a long time and I am facing my fears. I am no longer inside the thick walls [literally and metaphorically speaking].
![]()
I found myself at the second crossroad. I was challenged to re-think my decision of being single because of my condition. These three full months [January to March] I saw how the Lord has opened all the doors for me ~ He IS a very generous God. And He gives us freedom to choose where we would like to go.
The dinosaur was the cyst I allowed to grow within me. The anger that blocked me from seeing my future in a different way ~ it symbolized the people and the different voices that tell me "I could have..." ~ the blames, the hurts, the pains.
The dwarf is my creative potentials. My ARTnerhelped unleashed that side of me through an art group. The creative energies need to be re-directed in a more useful way ~ I let go of the blocks...
The white tiger presented itself in many ways. In my dream, I was with children playing jumping with them. I never felt such freedom and joy! The tiger came along and even if it were not chasing me, I was afraid. The white tiger was my friend who came to visit me in January, it was the doctor and my colleagues who felt I needed to do something to "prevent" my cysts from growing.
I have ran away for a long time and I am facing my fears. I am no longer inside the thick walls [literally and metaphorically speaking].
As if not to direct my thoughts on myself, The Lord sent me a twin heart to journey with me through this.
Quote source: Why We Really Must Keep Falling In Loveby Ann Voskamp
He held my hand and reminded me to keep putting love out there. The Lord has made me fecund in surprisingly creative ways...
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
They did not come from my womb but they are the children God gave to me to share my life with.