I tossed and turned in bed all night and couldn't bring myself to pray nor sleep knowing that I've displeased someone...
Last night, he finally took a moment to tell me that I was offending him by not talking to him...
I've ceased asking him for help because every time I did, he declines...
I was filled with remorse but I refused to cry.
Then God led me to my heart's softer spots and told me that...
This person made me stronger in a sense... I found my way through life without him...
I learned how to do things by myself ~ I became more creative... I became a better artist because of him...
I woke up refreshed in the morning and found my way to the train station when suddenly a guy flared up right infront of me...
I was so piqued I blurted, "You are either a guy or a girl!" I knew that by saying it in English I would've offended him twice...but I immediately caught myself...
Were these remnants of last night's confrontation? Or an anger I've denied for several years?
I closed my eyes and saw several patterns in my life on how I treated men in general. I've always looked down on them...
Perhaps, this is the time to see the 'whys' all these years and finally allow God to take them away...
"Sometimes what you think as an open wound needing to heal --- is God opening you up like an ear to hear Him & obey..."
~ Ann Voskamp, When You Are Weary of Vanilla Christianity
Have you had similar days of awakening? people you've always seen as villains but in reality were God's instruments to bring you closer to yourself?
