Love Beckons

June 2, 2013, 4:03 pm

≫ Next: Behold Jesus' and Mary's Heart!: Free Printable Design of the Most Sacred Heart

≪ Previous: Three-in-One (Free Printable Design)

Of three things I'm very certain: First, I love God; second, I love people especially the children; third, I ~~complain.~~ complain, but I also listen.

I was absolutely positive I will be getting my much needed rest last Saturday. My brother and I were together late nights to work on the fifth issue of our journal and we finally had it released last 31st of May. I was preparing my lessons for my Satur-dates when my mom called me. She asked me if I could help someone out. I wasn't ready to say yes, my temper was quite short with lack of sleep, but I loved her dearly so I asked how.

Someone close had a surgery and they needed cash. I said okay. AND, she added, they need someone to take care of their little child. I was THE nurse, after all. I was quiet for a while... That meant displacing myself on a weekend and taking turns with another caregiver at midnight to attend to the baby's needs. I began reciting my litany ~ litany of jeremiads, that is.

Downheartedly, I went upstairs to pack my things. I'll miss my Satur-dates. The car came earlier than I expected and we went off.

How could I be like this on a springtime? The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak (Mt. 26, 41, NIV).

We reached the house and the caregiver gave me the baby while she did her other chores. I recalled all I knew from Maternal and Child Health Care and was careful of the baby's fragile state.

We were about five in the house, I fixed their hours, allowing space for eating, sleeping and recreation together... I woke up at two to take my turn. The baby was awake. The caregiver said, perhaps, she misses her mother. I touched the baby's tummy. It was hard, she needed to pass gas. She slept for a while but again woke up. It was such a funny scene. All five of us were awake as if we read each other's minds. The only guy in the house wore the clothes of the baby's mother and lullabyed her... Finally, after three hours or so, she slept. She could've just wanted to be awake since she was sleeping daytime.

I rose up ahead of them. I was the eldest, and I felt it was not only the baby I was taking care of, but all of them.

While praying, I knew Jesus was laughing at me...like telling me, "I knew it, you couldn't resist..."

"When Love beckons to you,

follow Him..."

-on Love, Kahlil Gibran

"Though His ways are hard and steep..."

I relaxed after praying. The housekeeper called me and said, the baby's awake. I took her and told her caregiver to continue sleeping.

I began to enjoy those little hours left with her.

Oh, how much trust she gives me...

Her life depended on us who were taking care of her...

Could I ever hold my hands up like that in total surrender

and sleep just as peacefully as she did?

How could I ever resist?

This is You!

-----------
EXTRA:

I share this for Corpus Christi (Lesson with my Satur-dates). It was quite late for me since I had little time to prepare yesterday but I'll keep this here for those who wish to use it.

*Strictly not for commercial purposes:

Dowload via Open Drive

http://melissa919.opendrive.com/files/M18xMTMwMDg2OF9pRnAxNF84MDNm/Corpus%20Christi.pdf

↧

Behold Jesus' and Mary's Heart!: Free Printable Design of the Most Sacred Heart

June 6, 2013, 4:19 pm

≫ Next: Vocation: First part

≪ Previous: Love Beckons

For the Feast of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary, I share my designs in jpeg format (with high resolution). I'll be using them for my Satur-dates. Kindly link them back to my blog.

*Note: Strictly not for commercial purposes.

Download as jpeg via Photobucket.com

*Supplement readings on the Feasts:
http://feastofsaints.com/stmargaretheart.htm
http://www.ewtn.com/devotionals/heart/heart1.htm
http://www.thesacredheart.com/shd.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacred_Heart
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_Heart_of_Mary

* The Seven Joys and Sorrows of Our Blessed Mother (Praying the Franciscan Crown) http://rhinoweb.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Microsoft-Word-How-to-say-the-Crown-Rosary.pdf

Variations:

↧

Vocation: First part

June 9, 2013, 4:11 pm

≫ Next: A.S.K. and the Law of Attraction: Deepening Vocation 2nd part

≪ Previous: Behold Jesus' and Mary's Heart!: Free Printable Design of the Most Sacred Heart

I felt alive with the gush of spring that continuously flows within me!

One of my inspirations wrote something on my timeline ... and I left it suspended the entire week. The truth is, she has been asking me this for a few months already since I started writing about theHidden Life,

"Do you know your vocation?"

I. Period of Purification

"If you meet the Buddha, kill him."

-Linji Yixuan, Killing the Buddha

It is a perfectly strong statement that continues to inspire me to get to know God more.

For several years, I have thought of vocation as a 'higher calling,' an invitation from the Divine to enter into fellowship with Him through a religious community. At a young age, joining the missionaries was the closest thing I could ever think of.

I felt 'called' to live out a certain lifestyle that puzzled people ... even myself.

"If you are looking for peace, stability, comfort and security...it couldn't be found here (in the mission area). You will be tested in fire." ~ conversations with my SD

I was very certain that it was what I was called for but at one point, I was not so sure anymore.

My SD, in the collections of his homily, said: "Quando tutto appare chiaro, e' molto pericoloso"(When everything seems clear, it is very dangerous).

I was encouraged to take a new journey and begin again.

II. Get Married!

If you think eating words and homilies for breakfast is healthy, think again.

If we were referring to God's Words and homilies of my spiritual fathers, I'd say definitely, yes! Eat the Words, taste them, devour them, until the Words are incarnated.

When I came back home, I had my dad. I respect him for his wisdom but I really have to admit that I doubt most of his counsels.

I've been staying in our house for four and a half years now. And his perpetual homily consisted of 'getting married.'

"Okay, I'll go look for one in the department store."

It has become a constant ridicule in the household and seconded by my ARTner, Fher and some intimate friends since Sam left. Believe me, we tried (Wanted Perfect Husband). My Vision Boardwith Linda Lee was more promising. I began to shift my gears towards that direction...

Through the months I nurtured the desire to marry. Then, I began to discover that vocation goes beyond my relationship status. Instead, it is that call that will bring me closer to God, where my heart could breathe and dilate more in relationship to other people.

If some find it in religious life, then their pursuit of holiness could be found within the context of community relationships. If most people find it in marriage, then holiness could be achieved through having a husband/wife and a family.

III. Discovery in Depth

I found mine in being a single celibate at this moment. My parents and some people started noticing a change in me these past couple of weeks. And that included the ring I'm wearing. I am committed to bring children closer to God. I enjoy my moments with Jesus and the people He gives me everyday to journey with.

They respected the 'retreat' I had the last couple of months and now they see that I'm interacting again ~more active and alive after receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation... gentler, calmer... with a purpose...

I give myself and what I have because I have received infinite graces from the Lord. .. His love, compassion, mercy and kindness moves me...

"Vocation, vocatio, is about being raised from the dead, made alive to the reality that we do not merely exist, but we are "called forth" to a divine purpose."

-A.J. Conyers, The Meaning of Vocation

source: http://www.baylor.edu/christianethics/vocationarticleconyers.pdf

Do you know your vocation?

↧

A.S.K. and the Law of Attraction: Deepening Vocation 2nd part

June 16, 2013, 6:40 am

≫ Next: Noli Foras Ire: Journey Inwards

≪ Previous: Vocation: First part

"You can't be ambiguous. You will confuse the universe...," a dear friend laughingly told me three days ago.

I have shared with my him my 'call' and he asked me what have I been doing to achieve it...

Illusions, Law of Attraction and the Blue Feather

I have heard of the Law of Attraction from friends. They started talking about creating a positive mental attitude and manifesting it to the world. In fact, the very first book my sister gave me to read after I came back home was on this.

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." ~ Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.

So this law defies 'magnetic interactions...?'

"Like attracts like Melissa. Believe and receive," my friend added,

"holding what you have in mind in your hands already.

Would you believe how convincing this was to me? It reminded me of Richard Bach's Blue Feather ...

p.57 (Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah)

Yes, I hear THE voice within.
It has always been here!

Now, all I have to do now is align my thoughts with my heart's desires...

"What signals are you diffusing into the world?"

"Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks receives;
the one who seeks finds;
and to the one who knocks,
the door will be opened."
~Mt. 7, 7-8 NIV

----

Father's Day Celebration with my Satur-dates

Yesterday, my Satur-dates prepared love letters for their fathers using HelloKids' pattern:

I'm sharing my designs via OpenDrive.com

Download as pdf file (stationery):

http://melissa919.opendrive.com/files/M18xMTc5Mzk2NF9ISlFaWl9hYzk1/Happy%20Father's%20Day%20Design.pdf

Download as jpeg file:

http://melissa919.opendrive.com/files/M18xMTc5NDAyM19Zd2Z0el81NThl/Happy%20Father's%20Day%20Design.jpg

↧

Noli Foras Ire: Journey Inwards

June 23, 2013, 6:35 am

≫ Next: The Great Wall's Rise and Fall

≪ Previous: A.S.K. and the Law of Attraction: Deepening Vocation 2nd part

...I opened up a box I have kept hidden for years…

"You were within me, but I was outside..."

Late Have I loved You (St. Augustine's prayer)~
Gungor's http://youtu.be/vxaCs3vRpG0

via Opendrive.com

---------------

While this is an anticipation to the next chapters of The Purpose Driven Life, it is also a response to Rick Warren's 20th Chapter on Restoring Broken Relationships.

"Who do the crowds say that I am?" ~ Lk. 9,18 NIV

I took in a few days away from the net ~ Rick Warren, my prayer partner, intimate friends, work, one-week laundry (?)... I packed up my things Friday afternoon and spent time with a young sage.

A few days before I left, I felt a light bulb switched everywhere inside of me (mirroring; enlightenment) , and I began to see the dark creatures that crawled in my being (sins), snatching me away from my focus. My intimate friend redirected me to the road of gratitude but I felt wounds opening up and I just couldn't face them at that moment.

I shared that I felt 'unworthy' of many things... and I was starting to hate myself for my weaknesses. For the most part, there was a need to reconcile with 'me'...

I needed a quiet time...

The sage, in fact, spoke no words.

I just anticipated her needs...

slowly taking my focus away from myself...

away from the crowd...

and I saw the truth in her eyes...

"God created my inmost being;
God knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise God becauseI amfearfully and wonderfully made..." ~ Ps. 139, 13-14

The crowd knows me from what they see... but God knows who I really am...inside out...

---------------

Who people say that I am became less important...

I've always left hints of my past life in my blog but never spoke of them as 'plainly' as I did now.

Nobody probed just as much as my intimate friend did... I resisted then I yielded...

I yielded as God made me see everything in faith...

"Let light shine out of darkness."

~ 2 Cor. 4,6 NIV

"...we're tethered to a story we must tell..."

~ Ryan O' Neal (Sleeping at Last)~

I rose from the ashes of molestation

and depression

I was a missionary...

a religious missionary for ten years

and I left and began a new life...

"...but what about you, who do You say that I am?" ~Luke 9, 20 NIV

Related reflections/ supplement readings:

Gospel today, 12th Sun of OT, Lk. 9, 18-24

Catholic Online: Holding the Treasure in Earthen Vessels by Deacon Keith Fournier

Holly Gerth's Yes, Your Life Matters

↧

The Great Wall's Rise and Fall

June 29, 2013, 12:16 am

≫ Next: Lessons from the Young Sage

≪ Previous: Noli Foras Ire: Journey Inwards

It was almost eleven in the evening here when my sister and I finished our Skype conversation... it was fun talking to her and hearing her speak German.

------

The Weeping WALL

Three of my intimate friends knew how distracted I was this week. I haven't slept much... I have been practicing the 'receiving' game after the LoA post and I've cried two times to my brother for the 'test' he's giving me...

The invitation to Tokyo was primarily for the medical editors and he, out of benevolence, included me in the list of attendees.

David Bronson's tweet

*The Great WALL: The Culture of 'Hiya' (Shame) vs, 'Kababaang Loob' (Humility)

I immediately declined it... come to think of it, I never had second thoughts to any invitations... I was always quick to say 'no.'

"Oh you shouldn't... you musn't... you're not obliged...please, no...you're too kind... I don't need it... NO, thanks..." were common replies I dish out to family, colleagues and friends that I've earned the 'Patay Ligaya' (Kill Joy) award in our office.

Maybe, I have even showed it too often that, at one point, some people have given up asking or communicating...oh! but not my *brother. I just talked to him this morning and he told me the same thing, "Trust me."

*Ethan, my musician friend gave me company for two nights with another soul friend...my sister, last night and my Muslim friend this morning...

They came sans asking...They crushed the 'wall' and built a 'bridge.'

They invited me out of this self-enclosed shell...

to reach out instead of 'hide'...

to embrace people than 'cross' my arms in neglect...

to stay than 'ran' away...

to face life and its challenges than to 'cover' it...

to sleep and trust the flow than continuously 'fight' the current...

The culture of 'hiya' has to step down. God made me realize that it was 'false humility' to deny any goodness, to cover up talents and to be untrue to oneself...

Bury this shame or throw it away and instead plant the seed of humility... Today, I learned that openness consists not in receiving what I desire... but receiving what is meant for me.

"Few souls understand what God would accomplish in them if they were to abandon themselves unreservedly to Him and if they were to allow His grace to mold them accordingly." ~ St. Ignatius of Loyola (EWTN)

------

With my Satur-dates:

My sister Michelle suggested that I put up a FB page for the kids (Saturdays with Jesus) and they seem to enjoy it.

*Reminder to parents: Always view/browse the internet with your children.

They also like music so we inserted liturgical songs in between the sessions.

Today we had, 'I Love the Lord.'

I Love the Lord

sung by Sr. Bubbles Bandojo, rc: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbEwFJ2osQY

composed by Fr. Arnel Aquino, SJ

Lyrics at http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/bukas-palad-lyrics/i-love-the-lord-lyrics.html

We took our lessons from the Bible
Tools: Bible in Filipino
Downloadble Powerpoint Presentations via Free Bible Images

↧

Lessons from the Young Sage

July 8, 2013, 8:01 am

≫ Next: Coming Out of the Shell: Braver... Bolder... Fiercer...

≪ Previous: The Great Wall's Rise and Fall

"Brother ass does it again...," I called out to my mom as she frantically knocked on my door...

I overslept...

Dazed, I got up quickly, took a quick shower and went off...

After deciding to have a month break from Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life, most of my days were filled with assessment of articles for our next issue, completion of requirements for visa application, going to and fro hospitals, and media coordination in preparation for the Diabetes Awareness Week Celebration. As much as I enjoyed it, my blood pressure tells me to slow down a little...

Hearing myself saying this, I sensed that I was going back to my old pattern of losing myself to work 24/7. My boss must have seen how 'alive' I was with my 'new assignment' ~ amazed that she placed me in that field when I don't even watch television...

There was no official invitation from the "Retreat Master" (my bro) but I knew I had to return to the 'young sage' to learn a few more lessons from her and my mom supported her ideas...

Click the arrow once to start the slideshow

"Lord I'm stepping out

from the comfort zone

Letting go of me,

Holding on to You..."

~Center of My Life, Hillsong

As the day drew to a close, I realized how much time I actually have to do the things I wanted and should be doing...

I live in the creative tension of

being 'here' and 'not being here' all the time.

I know how my online presence and increased visibility in the field and social media creates impact...

BUT,

the sage, in her 'silence' taught me many many precious things...

Who do I wish to make the center of my life?

Strike the balance...

Surrender ALL...

-------------

The night before I left, my kids asked me if we will have our date the next day, I told them I'll have a quick retreat and we'll be seeing each other the succeeding Saturday. I left them a quiz in our FB page using polls.

My Satur-dates Quiz:

Lessons from last week (Part 1): Luke 1, 26-28 ~ The Annunciation
Tools: Free Bible Images ~ http://www.freebibleimages.org/photos/mary-angel/
Luke 1:39-56 ~ The Visitation
Tools: Free Bible Images ~ http://www.freebibleimages.org/photos/mary-elizabeth/

Quiz posted in our FB page, Saturdays with Jesus: https://apps.facebook.com/my-polls/bhihp

Download via Opendrive in PDF form:http://melissa919.opendrive.com/files/M18xMzM3NzY1OV9VZzlYYV82ZjMy/Satur-dates%20Quiz%206%20July%202013.pdf

↧

Coming Out of the Shell: Braver... Bolder... Fiercer...

July 15, 2013, 8:56 am

≫ Next: Listen to your heart: WHO Lives There? (first part)

≪ Previous: Lessons from the Young Sage

"Don't you want to be a Laida Magtalas someday?"
my brother 'seriously' asked me
Laida Magtalas version 2.0

I woke up light headed...

still giddy with thoughts from yesterday ...

and the entire week...

----

I almost fainted in the Church yesterday, it's the first time it has ever happened to me as I already got used to my low blood pressure... and it's the first time I missed a family event in five years that I've been out of the 'walls'...

"I can't come with you," I wistfully told my mom.

My dad drove me home after mass and I slept for three straight hours.

Those hours were the most quiet and relaxing...

I saw how much I was loved by my dad that Sunday. I like those tender moments when I'd really feel 'genuine' caring. It's also the first time I didn't push that love away.

I felt my stubbornness fading away...

----

smiling...

The Spirit whispered something aboutCoryand I prayed for his soul.I was actually crying last night before I slept at ten... listening toCory's songs and finishing a movie I've been watching the previous nights...

I haven't really been into love stories lately and this 'blessed soul' (thank you!) shared a video that made me curious about it. It made me laugh at the first part and cry at the last scenes (so typical even of Filipino movies).

Here's a quote I lifted from it: "Maybe they haven't seen methrough 'your' eyes."

(e.g. Like the way my brother sees me as Laida Magtalas after four years)

Maybe it's time to see people through this 'special lens' ~ now.

I thought, how really short life is ~ and to be alive, today... well, that's really something to be grateful about.

One more day of loving... one more day of seeing our loved ones... one more day of forgiving and being forgiven...

"If you love those who love you,
what reward will you get?" ~ Mt. 5,46 NIV
My little niece Audrey and I, 13 July 2013

------

grateful...

"There's something different about your posts ~ you're coming out of your shell now," a friend I've been journeying with for over a year and who I've been emailing my posts told me last night.

"You're healed," my soul sister Rimly wrote me...

*After all these years...I received an SMS from the one person I wish to forgive...

and he was the first to say, "I'm sorry..." (assignment from Restoring Broken Relationships with Rick Warren).

*I received my Japan visa for a conference in August (more of this Law of Attraction and Vision Board in my next post~faith and letting God be God).

*I gave away the rice we were supposed to eat to hungry kids...and the next day, the Lord provided us with food more than we could eat (Divine providence and trust).

----

Wholeness~Faith journey

It's the road I'm still treading ~

it's still a very long way to the heart...

but I know God walks with me all the way.

How about you?

Where are you now in your journey?

Bonus:

joyful...(this song sounds triumphant)

*Of the songs in the movie, I loved this. It takes another meaning in Tamil as a love song... but Hosanna (Aramaic הושע נא ~ save/rescue ) for us is an expression of adoration, praise or JOY!

I Love You Lord... tantissimo!

Lyrics in English

↧

Listen to your heart: WHO Lives There? (first part)

July 21, 2013, 4:24 pm

≫ Next: Unveiling at Vishnu's Virtues

≪ Previous: Coming Out of the Shell: Braver... Bolder... Fiercer...

Of all the places she wanted to be,

it was right here on my chest

that she found rest...

------------

It was the little sage's turn to visit me this weekend. She wasn't used to be carried around but I did...

I held her several minutes each day to understand her valuable lessons...

My infant Jesus a gift from graziealcielo

"As I see it,

we shall never succeed in knowing ourselves unless

we seek to know God:

let us think of His greatness and then come back to our own baseness;

by looking at His purity we shall see our foulness;

by meditating upon His humility, we shall see how far we are from being humble."

~ S. Teresa of Avila, Interior Castle. Translated and edited by E. Allison Peers. (NY:Doubleday, 1989)38.

As a young nun, we were taught to contemplate the Infant Jesus so often. I have only come to know how by holding a real infant in my arms...

It just tells me to 'receive love.'

I felt an allergic reaction towards the concept ~ of vulnerability.

I have ceased being me ~ open, spontaneous ~ at a young age...

The world of love and trust that was initially created as an infant was shattered.

I have realized that I have used the 'habit' as a haven to cover my femininity ~ and the 'walls' as a barrier between men and me. I had to move out of my comfort zone to start another journey outside the 'walls.'

But the vow of 'chastity' is beyond that. Love couldn't be given in parts. It has to be whole... It entails relationship with Jesus that is concretely manifested in our relationship with other people.

"Se la persona apre la sua mano, fatta per ricevere e dare, al dono, vive una relazione con gli altri molto piu' vera." ~ P. Bini

(translation: If a person opens his/her hand, made for receiving and giving, to a gift, he/she lives in a more real/genuine relationship with others.)

--------

The promise of springtime has indeed come!

I ask pardon if I lack charity in my words and actions~ the tension between 'receiving' love and 'refusing' it comes in the way too often ~

but here's the catch,

know that God holds my heart and I am capable of change with the help of God's grace.

The sage, the Infant Jesus, tells me to listen to my heart...

Who lives there?

*Updates:

I received a tweet this afternoon and I couldn't leave misinterpretations of what I wish to convey in this post:

"I believe nuns & priests should be allowed 2 marry,as the rest of the body of Christ."

One,I believe in the vow of chastity. It has always been a debate to make the vow of chastity optional for priests and nuns but we have to deepen this aspect. It is not only for the religious, priests or nuns to live. It is a call to each one of us. More than a question of 'marrying' or 'not' ~ it is the question of how freely I could give this love to God through other people.

Second, one has to read the rest of the posts in order to understand the different journeys I have taken. I was a religious and I have left. My motives and vocation story has to be purified.

Third, one is free to ask questions... the posts are meant for self-knowledge and self-understanding.

"You are a very brave woman!"

I understood this in this aspect, 'courage' to purify intentions, realize that and take a new road. And 'courage' to continue journeying to know oneself and Christ.

-----

Preparation for World Youth Day 2013

with my Satur-dates

"What are we expecting next week (referring to this time)?" I asked the kids.

"SONA!" they chorused. True, the children here in Quezon City have no classes because of the State of the Nation Address this afternoon.

"Okay... and what else?" There was silence...

and so we began our project.

Beginning tomorrow, July 23 to 28, 2013, we celebrate the World Youth Day!

The theme for this year is: "Go make disciples of all nations (Mt. 28,19)!"

I'm so excited to see all those young people gathered in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil led by Pope Francis to pray and be united in God's love.

Source of Logo explanation:A World Youth Day Pilgrim's Journal

Fau, my niece

↧

Unveiling at Vishnu's Virtues

July 28, 2013, 9:25 pm

≫ Next: Step 1: Close Your Eyes ~ in Prayer and Thanksgiving

≪ Previous: Listen to your heart: WHO Lives There? (first part)

"LOVE takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without

and know we cannot live within."

~ James Arthur Baldwin

Two months before, a friend asked if we could talk and we did for an hour.

It was such a riveting experience ~ it changed my life forever...

For five years, I've carried my story with me ~ and blogged about it

but only this person has asked me such profound questions that shook the comfortable world I have built for myself...

I thank one of my inspirations for generously hosting my post for this week ~

Vishnu's Virtues

Kindly visit www.vishnusvirtues.com

"Unveiled: My Life and Lessons as a nun"

and leave your comments there or you could write me via my email.

Thank you!

↧

Step 1: Close Your Eyes ~ in Prayer and Thanksgiving

August 7, 2013, 3:45 pm

≫ Next: Step 2. Fall in Love ~ Formation of the Heart

≪ Previous: Unveiling at Vishnu's Virtues

Part 1.

“Your face is radiant…” my mom told me this morning...

photo (used with permission) courtesy of Raising Ecstasy

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Raising-Ecstasy/230949763583227

Closing my eyes, I saw, smelled, heard, tasted and touched Japan...

...its 'meditative' ambience captivated my heart...

Road to the Imperial Palace

It's the first time I've seen swans!

brother fish welcomed us...

Tokyo Station at night

Some places were familiar ~ my brother and I lingered here taking cups of coffee as we enjoyed the cool breeze nighttime brought...

across McDonald's overlooking Hotel Mets Komagome where we stayed for four days

I often slipped outside during breaktime at the Bunkyo Green Court which was just beside the venue of the conference ~ immersed in God's beauty in nature.

Everything carried an admirable and surprising finesse...

...from simple food preparation

...to complex subway and railway systems...

*photo courtesy of my brother, aot iii

photo courtesy of my brother, aot iii

...to this...

Truly fascinating!

The people were extremely organized and disciplined... calm and courteous

Road to Asakusa

...very creative...

Okachimachi restaurant ~ with plates on conveyor belt

...with Italian influence...

beside Japan Medical Association, within the grounds of Bunkyo Green Court

Lunch at Denny's Hotel Mets

Our last day was graced with a Eucharistic celebration. I saw many people of different nationalities (including Filipinos) there... we were 'one!'

Saint Ignatius Church at Yotsuya

As I concluded my prayer, I recalled all the beautiful people I met. The heart has its ways of communicating amidst the seeming language barrier...

As I spent time admiring the artistry and fine details of Japan's exterior plane, I was moved to reflect on the ways these things were manifested ~ they cultivated an 'interior life.'

It was almost like saying, "This is what we have... because this is what we are..."

"Che cos'e' l'interiorita'?

E' desiderio, e' cuore, e' attenzione a tutto quello che si vive dentro..." ~ P. Bini

We were there for a purpose...

*photo courtesy of Cecile Maramba-Lazarte, MD

The Journal of the ASEAN Federation of Endocrine Societies, where I worked, was formally included in the list of the journals of the Western Pacific Region Index Medicus (WPRIM)!

These were glimpses of Christ's Transfiguration... the Lord has manifested His ways beyond my imagination...

I am humbled in many ways by His great great love...

God placed me there for a purpose...

----

Taking a peek at Part 2 on Vision Board with Ms. Linda Lee...

↧

Step 2. Fall in Love ~ Formation of the Heart

August 18, 2013, 3:13 am

≫ Next: Fall In Love: A Peek into the Hidden Life

≪ Previous: Step 1: Close Your Eyes ~ in Prayer and Thanksgiving

Part 2a. Is it possible to love God and a human partner at the same time?

photo (used with permission) courtesy of Raising Ecstasy

"...I meant that question for you."
Point blank ~ shot straight to the core ~ I was taken aback...
I have read books on this theme more than a thousand times and even wrote about my vocation but how come my friend insists on taking me deeper into my call?

~ from a spiritual companion~

----

The last few days after a month break, my friend and I have resumed our reflections on the Purpose Driven Life. This time, we dwelt on Growth (Ch.23 and beyond) and I have discovered in which 'particular' area I remained a child. I need to grow!

I told him yes, it is possible to love both... we need not go further from eros and agape.

"Then, what 'blocks' you from truly loving God... and from engaging in another relationship?" my friend continued...
I was asked to reconcile my mind and my heart. It is a long journey ~ but am I also willing to start it?
It is not enough to say that I love. I could have an entire discourse on this and yet have no heart ~ Love is not explained, it is expressed.
Do it!

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock." ~ Rev. 3,20 NIV
For several days my friend and I worked on a list of roadblocks to loving. And in each item, he asked: ~ how can I do it? ~ how should I do it? ~ how will it make my life better if I do it?
He took me to the extreme coming up with the craziest ideas to counter the impediments and yet each time I did, I felt the thorns (fears) falling off and the horse blinders (lack of vision and creativity) lifted up.
On the Feast of the Assumption of our Blessed Mother, I took a day of retreat and thanked Jesus for giving me a pair of 'new eyes' ~ a renewed way of living, loving and relating with others.
You Changed My Life in a Momentvia opendrive.com
Listen ~ welcome the experience ~ let Him transform you.

“We need that love to make us fearless in our devotion."

~Jennifer Hartline, Falling In Love with God: The Greatest Romance

via Catholic Online

I took these parts out of my Vision Board and surrendered them to Jesus.

"Visualizing is what you want with your Vision Board,
Visioning is asking God what He wants from you."
~ Linda Lee

-------

*Note: What are the barriers that keep you from truly loving?

Create your own list ~ identify the barriers ~ what do you do next?

You may download our list as a pattern via opendrive.com.
We suggest you do this activity with a partner or a friend or in groups.

https://melissa919.opendrive.com/files?M18xNjY0NTQ0OV9rS3ZMNQ

Supplement readings:

Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI's Encyclical Deus Caritas Est

Jennifer Hartline, Falling In Love with God: The Greatest Romance via Catholic Online

How to Fall In Love with God: Suggestions of St. Ignatius via www.gesuparish.org

Peter Kreeft, Love Sees with New Eyes

See Life Through the Eyes of Lovevia Positively Present

Scott Peck, The Illusion of Falling In Love, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

Philosophy of Love: An Overview via Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy

↧

Fall In Love: A Peek into the Hidden Life

August 28, 2013, 8:40 am

≫ Next: A Word of Hope for World Suicide Prevention Day 2013

≪ Previous: Step 2. Fall in Love ~ Formation of the Heart

I have ventured into a very ‘exciting experience' these past few weeks following my Purpose Driven Life Sessions...

~ Silent, hidden, delightful ~ journey to the heart

A couple of friends started asking me to pray with and for them at regular hours and I did so ~ diligently waking up at the time we have agreed upon to pray together ~ meditating God's Words as the day progresses.

*It has been several years since I have taken hold of my breviary and prayed with a community...

A group of Dominicans gathered in adoration and prayer
taken after typhoon Maring.
I had a chance to pray with them.

Immersed in prayer with spiritual companions led me to understand the depth and importance of praying for others.

I've also been carefully rereading a compilation of homilies and reflections of a Spiritual Father and took in short retreats and visited the Blessed Sacrament in between the holidays we had last week.

Some friends would ask me 'how come' continue a life similar to the one I had before? How come when I had already been given 'freedom' to lead a 'totally different life?'

"Man looks at the outward appearance--but the Lord looks at the heart."

~1 Samuel 16:7

It wasn't the 'habit' that I wore that made me religious...

adapted image on charcoal by me

"The Beloved's Face need not be present on this portrait for the focus is on the Bride who takes her delight at the presence of the Groom that her soul longed for."

~ a spiritual companion~

I ventured, yes, in an exciting but difficult task, to share something that should be lived rather than explained...

Only God knows what is happening inside each one of us...

Again, where you are in your journey is where you should be...

Pazienza! Corragio!

But when the time comes that He'd like to take you into an adventure ~ be ready to respond...

-----

Supplement Readings:

Psalm 139

The Hidden Life by J.R. Miller

Thy Hidden Ones: Union with Christ by Jessie Penn-Lewisshared byDebra El-Ramey

Touching God: Experiencing Metaphors for the Divine by Elly Sanna

----

Celebration with my Satur-dates

We practiced some songs before we had our formal lessons.

Thanksgiving after the typhoon

↧

A Word of Hope for World Suicide Prevention Day 2013

September 9, 2013, 9:23 pm

≫ Next: Unveiled: Why I left. When should you?

≪ Previous: Fall In Love: A Peek into the Hidden Life

Download:"Stigma: A Major Barrier to Suicide Prevention 2013" Brochure

I write this on behalf of friends who, for years, have waited for me to break my silence over depression (my own, several years ago) and the suicide and death of a friend whom I cared for so much.

April 2012, Holy Thursday, while the Last Supper and Washing off the Feet was being re-enacted, I looked at the altar of our church. Four years before that, a man shot himself in front of that altar ~ the church was desecrated and was closed for several weeks.

I was in N. Africa when that incident happened and most of the stories in our place were recounted by my mother. I 'knew' how my mom 'felt' when I asked her about it.

That very night, I received several calls from India, but every time I took them, they dropped instantly that I had to wait early the next day to find out what happened. I knew it was an emergency call. I opened my FB and was greeted by several messages from **'s daughter telling me to pick up the phone. I wrote her back and told her the lines were not functioning well. I communicated with ** through email and she told me our soul sister died ~ how? She committed suicide...

The incident was caught on tv and another soul friend saw it. I asked two friends living in different parts of India to confirm the news but they have not heard of it. I didn't wish to spend Good Friday on the net but I stayed because several people started asking me why there's RIP posted on my friend's Facebook page. Another good friend asked us not to sensationalize the news and warned me to be careful in case an investigation starts.

I, admittedly, lost a bit of my peace. For five full days, I was wide awake.

Depression

While reading the theme on this year's World Suicide Prevention Day, my reflections revolved around the suffering of a mental illness ~ depression ~ as a factor in committing suicide.

1) I was not aware my friend was suffering from depression nor was I aware that she took anti-depressants. In all our conversations, I found strength in her words especially knowing that she took care of her little daughter ~ she never verbalized plans of doing this.

2) Yes, she had problems which she openly shared with us, but we didn't know that these problems affected her so much that she'd take her own life.

I felt a turmoil inside ~ it disturbed me much that I was with her all the time and yet I really never knew what bothered her and 'why.'

Was I so self-absorbed with Sam's loss that I was never able to truly listen to her? In fact, it was she who was consoling me around that time.

-----

Flashback a little more, in 2007 and 2008: I had depression at the last months I was in the convent.

It is true what is written in the 'brochure' ~ 'knowledge is NOT enough to combat stigma." Negative attitudes do not help neither...

For the most part, it was 'fear,' lack of knowledge, negative attitude that prevented some sisters to understand what I underwent. For some, it was a locked idea on me 'acting it up' so I would have a good reason to leave.

I have given up to despair ~ for me, it was time to cease being strong. I need 'other people.'

For your information:

1) Depression doesn't happen in a day ~ it's a period of six months. ADL(Activities of Daily Living) cease. Chemical imbalance occurs and delusion happens.

2) With the delusions are suicide ideations. *I understood from this point, that my friend had been suffering for a time and found no way out.

3) Consult a psychiatrist not a psychologist in cases of depression. Medicines are needed to correct the imbalances that occur. *Usually, the person appears hyper in the evening and couldn't sleep.

4) Stay with the person. Be really patient. *I'm sorry but I have not found this in my former community. It was only my mom who was extremely patient with me. I remember shouting at Belle, who was just around 4 at that time, to stay away from me but she never left me. My mom knew that I couldn't resist being with kids and she thought Belle could reach out. *She did and I am forever grateful to my niece.

------

But aside from all these medical help, I found healing in love.

The stigma was there: going to a shrink, visiting a psychiatrist, taking meds ~ I felt unloveable at that time. I felt unworthy, I couldn't work at that period ~ I thank God for my parents who were really there for me. *I remember they'd let me sleep with them. My mom would hug me often. She's a real saint.

Grace found me and it allowed me to experience God in a real way. It took me several years to be converted but that earthquake ~ crisis moment ~ provided me much strength and hope to walk through this life again.

*I prayed had my friend waited* ~ if all those who died this way ~ just waited...

Crisis is an opportunity to grow.

At this point, it would also be good to raise the question of funds and projects in the government to help in this area. If we just take a look around, there are many suffering from this and money is needed to sustain medical assistance for a person to fully recuperate.

In our families and communities, our own friends ~ give time and 'listen' to what is not being said ~ to what appears to be invisible.

And for those who feel faint hearted and weak ~ Coraggio! (Courage) ~ you are never alone in your struggles.

Choose life!

------

I would like to thank my BS (Beautiful Soul), Corinne Rodrigues who has invited me to write about this. She has been one of my pillars of strength. Forever grateful!

You may check out the other links on World Suicide Prevention Day 2013 at Write Tribe.

I would also like to thank Casey Bee whose blog has been a great platform for those undergoing grief. Thank you Casey for journeying with me.

We offer our soul sister's soul to Jesus and His Divine Mercy

May she rest in peace.

And we pray for her family.

↧

Unveiled: Why I left. When should you?

September 22, 2013, 1:20 am

≫ Next: Awakening our Soul

≪ Previous: A Word of Hope for World Suicide Prevention Day 2013

"We can only learn to know ourselves and do what we can

- namely, surrender our will and fulfill God's will in us."

~St. Teresa of Avila

When first asked by my friend Vishnu to write about the second phase of my life (transition from convent life to the world outside), I was a bit hesitant to share. I needed to find ‘peace’ within me in order to do that.

If you read my journey to the religious life previously,Unveiled: My Life and Lessons as a Nun, you know my faith journey and spiritual life lessons. Today, I want to share with you why I left my old life as a “nun.”

Why I entered

I received my dispensation of vows from Pope Benedict XVI in 2008.

Nobody dared ask me this personally but relatives, friends and neighbours went to talkto my mom when they all saw me ‘without’ the habit.

To explain why I left, you must know why I entered the convent in the first place.

I was filled with idealism and concepts on God, vocation to love, service and what religious life is all about ~ but it entails much much more than that since what should be formed first and foremost is the heart.

I had chosen the Franciscan road out of romantic notions of poverty, devoid of knowledge of community life.

Finally, I realized that I had entered religious life not to serve God, but to hide from myself.

I was challenged and confused with my personal relationships. I feared work life and had apprehension over my career. My poor self-esteem was exposed and I doubted my ability to survive in my community.

The pressures great, the choices unlimited.

An escape was necessary.

Why I left

It’s hard to admit this now to you but I left my life to escape from my world as I knew it.

Sadly, to escape from myself.

Instead of staying to work through my life’s dilemmas, choices and relationships, I thought I would find comfort and freedom in the religious order. I wrongly believed the convent would liberate me from the struggles of my daily life.

Over some time, I came to realize that I was carrying myself, not Jesus, in the mission field. I slowly came to terms with why I had entered and why I must leave despite the disappointment and pain I would cause to those dearest to me.

I realized that the journey to holiness is a grace that needs our cooperation. And in my case, cooperation to fulfill God’s plan was outside religious life.

I realized that I need not force myself into doing something that is contrary to my happiness.

As my spiritual companion puts it, the Lord wants our happiness whether that be with Him as a religious or outside as a lay.

When should you leave

It doesn’t matter what situation you find yourself in life. You may find yourself in circumstances which no longer serve you.

You may have your awakening [earthquake and crisis] at the most inconvenient times. God may be telling you to move on. To leave the structures.

With my story as the backdrop, I share with you 5 signs you should know when it’s time for you to leave behind your vocation, your dream, your relationship, your fear, your insecurities.

1. When you feel the need to be true to yourself.

I realized that I had been afraid of other people, especially the opposite sex. Afraid of relationships, afraid of heartbreak and afraid of the pain which came when relationships evolved.

You will find that hiding behind the veil of what you’re afraid might be scary and unpleasant but you still have to let go. If you decided to let go, you evolve through the pain and change and come out stronger.

If you face your fears, you might find pain, but you'll also find your strength.

It is a very humbling and liberating experience to accept the truth.

Once you decide to be true to yourself, you'll no longer compromise your mental health or emotional well-being. Your heart [desire] and mind [will] are aligned.

2. When you need to face your fears.

One of the main reasons, I did not decide on leaving immediately was fear ~ of the future. How would I fare outside? I was already in my thirties and I felt inadequate.

Since I have been out now for some time, I can assure you that with God’s guidance, all will turn out well for you. Your worst fears won’t materialize.

You might stumble and take some time to stand on your feet but you will stand. You will find new opportunities, more suitable employment, more fitting partners.

3. When you need to confront the unknown.

There are two roads one follows in decision making:The road to trust the process that will lead to discovery and reality or the road back to despair and dependency.

I constantly chose certainty which led to despair. It took me several months more to finally tell my superiors that I wish to leave the religious life.

While no one likes what the unknown may offer, the unknown is filled with possibility and will allow you to live your essence, your true self.

4. When you need to stand up for your life.

I didn’t wish to take full responsibility so I waited for my superiors to decide but that did not happen. The decision, despite the presence of a spiritual guide, was mine to take.

It took me several years to do so but I finally did.

Life will not give you the easy way out. You will have to choose affirmatively to change your situation. You might have to do something you’ve never done before; take responsibility for your choices and decisions.

You may have to turn back on your culture or your family. You may have to turn back to everything you know but in the process, you will become who you were meant to be.

5. The need to grow.

I wish I had this mind when I entered and I wish I had removed the blocks as easily as I do now. At the time of entering the convent and for most of my time there, I feared coming to terms with the reality that I wasn’t meant to be there. I was fearful of my true intentions because my true intentions would have forced me to leave.

You may have a nagging feeling about what you should do in life but you have to do it when the time is right for you.

When you decide to leave what no longer serves you, you have gone through the process of coming to take that big step. That act of faith and the readiness to act is growth.

Growth is nothing but God’s grace along your journey for self-understanding and awareness.

My life began anew when I left the convent. While I had entered the convent for all the wrong reasons, I know I left for all the right ones. Inside, I was hiding from myself and Christ. Outside, I was ready to be who I truly am and give myself completely to Him.

I have learned to see Christ everywhere. I could still love Him here outside through the people I meet in my workplace and in the streets.

I have let go of the habit but not the heart of a missionary for which I will always be.

I return all the blessings and graces I receive each and everyday ~ new insights and learnings ~ to God.

Leaving is never easy when you have so much uncertainty and fear to face but it is the path we must travel through to live our divine purpose.

What must you do today? What are you ready to leave behind? Where must you go?

↧

Awakening our Soul

September 30, 2013, 1:59 pm

≫ Next: Step 3: Stay In Love ~ On Spiritual Friendship

≪ Previous: Unveiled: Why I left. When should you?

It has been several weeks now since I started noticing how "positive" people are around me...

At one of the conventions I attended a few Saturdays ago, I helped out at the registration area where I immediately identified this 'beautiful soul' among the crowd ~ a vibrant guy ~ a new face ~ who kept on coming back to our desk to ask for the VIPs so he could assist them. We were not formally introduced until dinner time ~he was the recently hired Coalition coordinator~ but even before that, I was very eager to know his 'story.'

He had only one arm.

Apparently from the bone structure, the deformity was not inborn but was caused by an accident early 2000 New Year. What really caught my attention was his oozing confidence. It was the careful attention he gave each one of us that made him extraordinary ~ and here I was thinking, how could he give so much when he lacks a hand?

He nourishes his "hidden life" with Christ and ministers to people like him.

I remember an incident before I left the convent, at my days of depression. I overheard a comment a volunteer made, which until now clearly rings on my mind ~'NOW, I know it serves a purpose' ~ thank you.

"Look at her [referring to me], she's complete yet incomplete at the same time."

Complete with all the faculties the Lord has given me ~ rich in talents the world can benefit from ~ and yet I dis-abled my mind, closed my heart and hands and stifled my growth. In short, when I stopped giving, I ceased living...

My hands were full. I was holding on to security. Then the Lord said, "Let go, let go!" And when I finally did, He worked on me full time.

You see, change doesn't happen in a day, a month, not even a year. Time is relative to God. An experience should touch one's heart, break it open ~ to awaken the soul!

"The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph."

~ Mr. Mendez, a line from The Butterfly Circus ~

We might find ourselves crippled, not necessarily by a deformity, a gene defect, a freaking accident, but by our own prison cells ~ FEAR, strict rules, narrow-minded parents, culture, religion, beliefs, inordinate attachments, judgment of other people.

We were all born with wings:

"BREAK FREE and LEARN TO FLY!"

... everything in its proper time ...

in God's perfect time...

*Kindly spend time to watch this.*

“The work of the eyes is done.

Go now and do the heart -

work on the images imprisoned within you.”

~Rainier Maria Rilke~

God will always find all the means for us to open our doors to Him...

listen to that voice that says,

"You are precious in My eyes,

and honored,

and

I love you."

~Isaiah 43,4~

↧

Step 3: Stay In Love ~ On Spiritual Friendship

October 15, 2013, 3:19 am

≫ Next: Love Never Fails

≪ Previous: Awakening our Soul

photo (used with permission) courtesy of Raising Ecstasy

*I write this on the occasion of St. Teresa of Avila, 'our' favorite saint...

Close your eyes

"Wait..." he told me as I began to pray...

"Breathe love first..." I breathed him...

"Slow down..." and I placed my hand on his chest to take the rhythm of his heart beat...

------------------------------------

A few months ago, my good friend in the Purpose Driven Life sessions, challenged me to finish one drawing I had since 2010... he, like the others, was so eager to see me committing myself to a man...

I looked at my Vision Board and saw a bride and a bridegroom on the right, a family, and a mother holding a child. I've always had conflict with my desires for I never have fully felt the 'need' to have someone at the moment.

"Please... please don't start drawing Jesus. You've already come out of the convent... Draw a man you've dreamed of becoming your husband in the future..." my PDL friend chided.

I knew in my heart what I have asked Jesus for.

---------------------------------------

Fall in Love

To see Jesus face-to-face...

To encounter Him in a personal manner...

and to experience real love... ~ these were my deepest desires.

Jesus gave me a spiritual companion...

There was a shift from the love I first came to know in this world ~ from looking at each other to fixing our gaze at the face of Jesus on the Cross.

"In a spiritual friendship, there is no possession at all."

~Ronda Chervin, Spiritual Friendship: Darkness and Light, 34~

The only time my spiritual companion looked at my direction was when he asked me to pray with him at specific hours in the morning and evening.

With the time difference we had, he reminded me of the importance of holding the world together through prayer. I slept, he worked and vice versa... and we met each other at our hours of prayer.

I never thought such friendship could exist between two persons especially in this age.

At those hours when I read and opened Facebook or worked early morning as soon as I woke up, he took me out to pray the rosary and we prayed Lauds/Vespers together.

He directed me to the 'hidden life' and re-arranged ALL my schedules. He never spoke of earthly things but of the life that awaits us with Christ where, he said, we shall meet one day. He allowed me to re-experience religious life especially my novitiate years.

"... in friendship are joined honor and charm, truth and joy, sweeetness and goodwill, affection and action. And all these take their beginnings from Christ, advance through Christ and are perfected in Christ. ... And thus, friend cleaving to friend in the spirit of Christ, is made with Christ but one heart and one soul ..."~Aelred of Rievaulx, Spiritual Friendship 1977:74-75, 2:20-21

I knew in my heart, this wasn't an angel but Jesus Himself visiting me through this person.

To him, I was Jesus' white rose in the garden of love which the Bridegroom asked him to tend and take care of while he was around.

Donald Nicholl in his book Holiness wrote,

"everyone needs a soul-friend, someone who loves you so much that he will never allow you to stray from the path of holiness..."

~excerpts lifted from Ronda Chervin, Spiritual friendship: Light and Darkness, 45~

I was moved to tears because of the purity this friendship brought.

I remembered, how at the time of my Ignatian retreat, the fear of relating with others especially with the opposite sex surfaced. I thought by not relating with men at all, I was living a chaste life.

My friend taught me to love fearlessly ~ to love LOVE Himself not just the person giving it. It is in this way that love is purified and perfected by Christ.

Stay in Love

Our moments together intensified when he said he awaits the new life ahead of him after ten years of commitment to the Lord. There will come a time when he has to be assigned to another place and our meetings will be less or come to an end.

In a dream I had, I spoke with Jesus and asked Him why, "Why in such a short time? Why leave?"

And Jesus in that dream brought me to His Mother. And showed me three phases of His life: His birth, death and resurrection.

In all those occasions, Mary was there. She didn't understand everything from the Annunciation to His death. A sword pierced Her heart (Luke 2,35). But She stood there for Him at the foot of the Cross. And at the Resurrection, at Mary's death, He took Her with Him to Paradise.

I related this to my spiritual companion and he told me that Jesus and Mama Mary are 'twin souls ~ twin hearts."

"What is beautiful about union in friendship is that such times of greater distance will be accepted, no matter how painful, for the friends could find each other in prayer where the apex of each soul is in touch with Christ."

~Ronda Chervin, Spiritual Friendship: Darkness and Light, 48

And this will be my role to him, to stand by him until Jesus' revelations take place ~ to gently and quietly offer him to God, Who is the Author and Source of this friendship.

And he told me, in return, he'll be Jesus' burnt offering ~ and his prayers will be offered to the world in dire need of them.

"It is lovely to be able to love on earth as one loves in Heaven."

~ Intro to the Devout Life III, 19

Yes, a friendship that will last for all eternity... truly a glimpse of Heaven ~

Love at the springtime of my life.

So to that precious friend who has accompanied me spiritually these months ~

"We are united in prayers and in love in Jesus."

And I thank the Lord for this wonderful surprise He has brought into my life...

~anima gemella~

I think of you...

with LOVE...

---

Love Never Fails

November 17, 2013, 5:25 am

≫ Next: Love Beckons

≪ Previous: Step 3: Stay In Love ~ On Spiritual Friendship

*Note: Images from the Twilight Saga were all lifted from Google.

No copyright infringement intended.

I woke up after an hour's rest...

I couldn't bring myself to write, draw, make music much less do my usual spiritual readings. My blog was devoid of inspiration...

I took a momentary vacation from some friends...

Midnight, I hooked into music and waited until my thoughts cleared out...

-------------------------------------

He came quietly into my life at the time I was 'ready to receive' love ~

To care means first of all to empty our own cup and to allow the other to come close to us.

~ Henri Nouwen~

The Essential Henri Nouwen

He took me out of the frenetic world I lived in and brought me to his heart....

I felt my pulse come alive ~

Inside his heart resided
~ the ONE I loved!

I followed the rhythm of his heart beat...

My soul learned to breathe....

We mirrored each other's soul in so many ways...

I loved children, he worked with the old and forgotten...

We both took extra miles for the people we served...

but most importantly,

we shared Christ's love...

Together, we were a team...

I knew God will take him to another place one day...

The threat of 'loneliness' surfaced....

Truth:

"When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you."

~ Henri Nouwen ~

The Inner Voice of Love

It's still a long way for me to understand the path leading to the Cross but

It takes reality to truly descend ....

and teach the value of trusting the Lord...

of giving up everything I held in my mind to be true...

I was led to a place of solitude ~ where all my images of God have been broken.

The Light within continues to glow...

He is a part of me!

Death, sickness, suffering lured their way inside my abode...

but I echo his words..."Jesus is always present within you."

Nothing can separate us from God's love.

(cf Rom 8,38)

Nobody... nothing

could ever satisfy me

but Jesus Himself.

My eyes were opened to other people suffering the same way...

"In the very place where we are most alone,

we discover that we are deeply connected to others

through God's grace."

~ Henri Nouwen~

The Essential Henri Nouwen, 1

it's time to put this love alive...

---------------------------------

Jesus showed me the way through the desert...

to embrace it fully as His own ....

Yes,

never apart...

but together,

along with the others

til we meet there...

↧

Love Beckons

June 2, 2013, 4:03 pm

≫ Next: Behold Jesus' and Mary's Heart!: Free Printable Design of the Most Sacred Heart

≪ Previous: Love Never Fails

Of three things I'm very certain: First, I love God; second, I love people especially the children; third, I ~~complain.~~ complain, but I also listen.

Downheartedly, I went upstairs to pack my things. I'll miss my Satur-dates. The car came earlier than I expected and we went off.

How could I be like this on a springtime? The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak (Mt. 26, 41, NIV).

We reached the house and the caregiver gave me the baby while she did her other chores. I recalled all I knew from Maternal and Child Health Care and was careful of the baby's fragile state.

I rose up ahead of them. I was the eldest, and I felt it was not only the baby I was taking care of, but all of them.

While praying, I knew Jesus was laughing at me...like telling me, "I knew it, you couldn't resist..."

"When Love beckons to you,

follow Him..."

-on Love, Kahlil Gibran

"Though His ways are hard and steep..."

I relaxed after praying. The housekeeper called me and said, the baby's awake. I took her and told her caregiver to continue sleeping.

I began to enjoy those little hours left with her.

Oh, how much trust she gives me...

Her life depended on us who were taking care of her...

Could I ever hold my hands up like that in total surrender

and sleep just as peacefully as she did?

How could I ever resist?

This is You!

-----------

With my Satur-dates

I share this for Corpus Christi (Lesson with my Satur-dates). It was quite late for me since I had little time to prepare yesterday but I'll keep this here for those who wish to use it.

*Strictly not for commercial purposes:

Dowload via Open Drive

http://melissa919.opendrive.com/files/M18xMTMwMDg2OF9pRnAxNF84MDNm/Corpus%20Christi.pdf